Monday, 31 December 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR! hehehe, wow, its already 2013, time flies so fast huh. well, its 2013 already, its time to focus because, im going to sit for my N level this year, oh my god. quite nervous and scared. im afraid of not making it for Ns, esp maths :( walao. i feel like giving up. hais. okay, since its 2013, i need a new resolution and a focus mindset.

in terms of relationship, i want me and Han to last, insyallah. i just hope we could understand each other and i wouldnt be so annoying and fussy. i seriously also need to stop being a burden for him, as we both seriously need to focus on our studies. i want Han to understand that i do love him. and i should stop paitao-ing our important dates. what a girlfriend am i right. i really feel bad le. well, i can say he is important in my life rn. <3 hehehe. i am a girlfriend right, then why do i keep hurting him and make him cry? what kind of girlfriend am i. walao. life for us has been shitty lately, i just hope things will get better for us. 2012 has been a good learning journey for us. alhamdulilah, i love you so much baby, <3

well, i just hope my studies will be better, insyallah, and i really need to focus. i cant be focusing on things that is not important. i think, dates can hold up right? sacrifise all this for our future, there's nothing wrong right? well, i hope Han can understand this and allow me to do so. he could still fetch me aft my remidials or study dates w my mates right? okay, thats all for now, i will blog soon, xoxo <3

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

hi, so, im back in blogging. heheh. so, everything in my life is alhamdulilah and i feel happy w everyting around me! people, friends, family, boyfriend, everything. its been a great! ive got into SOOC'13! kinda happy, its gonna be my last camp, i think? haha, not too sure. and im so glad into facil. how can i not be happy? :')

ok, so ystd, 17 Dec, celebrated 10monthsary w love. hehehe. so, our intial plan was to go to the beach and watch the sunset. but sadly, ibu wanted to bring us to town, for lunch. then, in the end, we all went shopping and I went fr a haircut. shopped fr my clothes, hehehe! then, i had my haircut and love accompanied. luckily, adik is there to accompany love and entertain him. and i feel so blessed that my brother and love are able to interact well. and we had coldstone, the ice cream we had was awesome. hehehe! i love it, and i cant believe that ystd was amazing. impromptu but, it was amazing i feel blessed w love's presense in my life. :') thankyou for loving me, and caring for me. may we last till eternity sayang.

i guess, thats all? HAHHA, no idea anymore. otak blank. ok, bye guise, xx

Friday, 30 November 2012

Hellohellohello. Its been awhile since I last update my blog huh. Hehhe. Alhamdulilah, things have been fine lately. But I am tired bcus there's alot of activites going on in my life. And I just had picnic w Ameerah and the siblings.

So, if it wasnt because of the picnic, I guess, Farhan & I wouldnt be back together by now. And we follow our normal date, 200212. Hehehe! I'm so happy. I feel happy when I'm with him and I can be myself. I love him for who he is, and I feel secured when I'm w him. Although we've been seperated w each other for quite some time, I still miss him and rmbr all our memories. Its just hard to forget someone you've been with for 7months huh. Well, thats how I feel. I just hope, aft all this, I want us to last, next Dec, its our 10th months. I learnt from our lesson in the past, I will commit in this relationship because I love him and I want to be with him forever. Whatever people wanna say about me, I dont care anymore, insyallah if I cant take it, then I really dont know what to say. Nao that we're back together, I'm happy, I miss youuuu. And most importantly, I love you so much, <3 Hehhe!

Picnic w the sisters! It was amazing! Unexpectedly, we played w the sand and water. Heheh! Azurrah was so cute, she kept finding her brother, like, very worried regarding her brother's whereabouts. Then, I got wet w them, they splash me to the water :( Bohoo! But, if it wasnt because of this, I wouldnt have fun, wouldnt I? Farhan joined us later, around 545? Then we had a talk, about our memories together, the places in Punggol, whatever we did, I miss us, I miss our memories, I MISS YOU. I really should thank the sisters for us being back together. I love you girls so much, just like, my blood sisters, xx Meet up soon okay sweethearts!

Monday, 26 November 2012

Hi. Today I spent my time w my family, alhamdulilah bcus I miss them alot! Practically spent half a day at home, & the other half watching movie and going to granny's. Hm, I ate alot today, so, I'm sucha a happy kid, first, ayam masak merah, then frolicks, then Burger King^^ Hehehe, who isnt happy?! HEH.

Pitch perfect was awesome, the song, the lyrics, everything. The funny part was the Fat Amy, she just had the most funniest role ever. There is also lesbian, and all from collage kiddos! The movie is recommended! Cant say much though bcus I cant concentrate as my most idiotic bestfriend is talking to me otp. so, update tmr je la, goodnight huns, xx

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Hello, okay, today was a simple stay home sunday for me, I didnt even go madrasah prolly cus I was caught up w stuffs, ohwellz. Do you know how tiring issit for me to cry for 2 days straight and for long hours, it hurts, and its tiring. Alhamdulilah, Matrepz was there to listen and be a listening ear. He even advice on good stuffs, alhamdulilah, bcus if he isnt here, I think I'd still be crying alone and saying stupid stuffs. I am just blessed that I have wonderful friends, I mean, who isnt? I feel so down lately, so emotionally hurt and paranoid. I dont feel the hyperness in me where I would laugh, shout and be wild. Where is that? I've been emo-ing and not being myself. I just wish I can be myself again. Please, I hope. Amin :')

So, something to cheer me up and good to remember. Last friday night, on the 23rd of Nov, we went to town, and by we, I mean, eilah, ila, dayah, zak, the twins, raimi, juwaidi & I. We went to watch AhBoysToMen at Cineleisure, actually, the purpose of us going there is to watch Pitch Perfect, then cannot make it sbb dah fully booked. Bohoo for us! :( Anyway, so, we decided to watch AhBoysToMen, it was really hilarious, I cant stop laughing, heheheh! But, watching movie w Azim, ya'allah, his sooo noisy, but nvm, I understand :) Heh. Aft movie, Dayah had to go home, dah janji mama. So, the rest of us, which is 8 of us, went around town and walked. Walked Ion then went one round back to Plaza Singapura. It was fun but tiring though, but nvm, I managed to know Juwaidi better :') His actually a nice guy and his funny, esp pampered. Adui, pampered kids walking to town together, omg. HAHAHA. Okokay, dah go back ps, all went seperate ways and we head back home. Priddy tiring though bcus before I went town, I had Poly Attachment, and spent half a day there. Played Pool, & table soccer, gosh! The ice cream there is wow! HAHA, and a good mentor was there to treat us, Alhamdulilah :') Blessed.

So, I guess that's all? Oh, and once again, thankyou Matrepz once again for today :') xx

Thursday, 22 November 2012

helloooo. its been so long since i last updated my blog. so, lately, i've been busy w poly attachment at Temasek Poly. Hehehehe. So, there, I clashed to PSS senior, Adil. He is so tall, managed to have some catch up w him. His actually such a good guy! Oh, & aft school, I would go out w the twins, & ila. Lepak at the twins crib. It was fun though.

I just wanna let out all my feelings. Gerald, if you're reading this, I hope you understand. Things have been rough lately, and I want things to go smoothly. As said to everyone, life is about having fun, and I want to be free. I know you love me, alot. I know I cant hurt you, but to me, having a relationship is not important. Maybe things in India isnt the same as in Singapore. Whats the relationship for when we barely spend time together? I know our time we spent was only in India and Deepavali. I really miss those times. You hug me before sleep every night, you sending me to bed. I miss that, but when we reached in Singapore, we barely meet and spend time together, that makes my feelings fade. I want us to last, because I tot to give you another chance and able to be w you forever. But things have made me realized, that I cant be w you anymore. People say what they wanna say, people have no idea what I'm going thru. Yes, I may look like I've been flirting and stuffs, but I know how to limit my friendship, where to end etc. I do want to try having a chinese boyfriend and know what it feels like, but sadly, at the rate we're going, this is not how I want it to be. I dont want us to be together, but there is no memories made you see. I've waited for so long to spend my time w you, even my mum knows about us, but, you? You cant even spend your time w me. I have my own reasons on why I do not wanna go to your house. Understand me please. All I'm asking for is just your time for me, & you cant seemed to be giving it to me. I have to let you go, dont let me suffer alone. Us being together, but no memories throughout, then what is this relationship for? Isnt it better if we're just friends then, bcus it seems that we only hang out when there's a whole group reunion or group gathering, but, time for just us, where is it? WHERE. I'm sorry if this hurts you and the rest, but, think of my feelings and my efforts in putting us together, perfectly, w memories.

I also want my friends to know that I have my own reasons why I hang out w different different people. Doesnt mean I hang out w chinese friends often, I forget about you guys. I would also like to make new friends, and get to know them better. Must I always stick to my clique often? No. I also must be given the chance to open up my network huh. I know you guys better than them. I love you all, regardless, my chinese, Indian, malay friends, you all are my friends, I love to hang out w you guys. Memories were made huh. For example, Hari Raya, all of us went to Cikgu Sunarti's house and boom her house together, and there's apologizing ceremony, and we had fun didnt we? Town, pasir ris park, e!hub, chilling out aft school, how can I ever forget you guys? Maybe, its the other way round? I understand if I'm not part of you guys anymore, the five of us, maybe just four of you guys, the malay gang, maybe I'm not part of it anymore. #kunjis, #thecrew, I had loads of fun w you guys, we went shopping, India trip, laughed like crazy! All those moments, I miss those. Maybe I'm no longer in there already.

I guess thats all. Thanks for your time reading, Insyallah I'll be hardworking enough to update daily.

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Hello. I created blog to express my feelings here. So long since I last blog. Forgot my old password, so, had to create a new one. I just wanna let it out. Everything. how i miss being with my 5 bestfriends. just them, the five of us, going out and having fun. we've been thru alot this few months. we have done stupid and fun things together. we went universal studio during the june holidays. its fun bcus we took alot of pictures, had a lot of exciting rides and get wet together. i miss those times. now, idk what has happen to us, where is all those fun and laughters we had, everyone went seperate ways. i just want us to be back together. i looked back at all the pictures we had, when we went out, and all. i kinda want that back. hopefully, during the nov and dec holidays, we are able to spend more time together and go out, just the five of us. maybe to ubin to cycle, to marina bay sands, to town and shop. there are just so many things we can do, just the five of us. i really hope we will be able to stand strong together, forever :')

Okay, next up. Relationships. I miss firstlove. I miss everything we had and his laughters. we just contacted each other for a few days, and something came and ruin it. i really regret having and introducing her to him. i feel like i am the one that shld be blamed. i miss him so much. aft that day, the last we met, i really cried so hard. and if it wasnt bcus of that too, i wouldnt have known so many truths and secrets about our past relationship. i wouldnt know who caused it, and why suddenly he wants to contact me back. i cried almost every night thinking about this. i want us back together, but i know, there is never a hope, not the slightest bit for us, to get back together. i just miss us, on the webcam, at mcd, at town, waterway, i miss all thissss :'( nobody knows and understands the hurt, all they are able to say is just to move on, seriously? do you think its that easy? hais. gotta go. byebye.